I'm having some anxiety over my mammogram results, but it could be much worse. So, I had my first baseline set May 13th; they wanted me back for a closer look at one, which they told me was pretty common as when they have no baseline to compare to they need to nail down the particulars of various structures, like lymph nodes in weird places or whatever.
Due to various things like vacation, forgetting, and such, I didn't get back for my followup mammograms until today. After the mammograms, they made me sit around for a long time, and eventually ultrasounded me trying to see what they are trying to nail down, that way. However, neither the ultrasound tech nor the radiologist doctor could find it.
The doctor told me that "it looks benign" and that "it is probably a lymph node". Then he said, "We need to see you back in six months, to see if it has grown.".
Urgh . . . that doesn't sound like a lymph node?
However, I get the impression that this is MOSTLY a dot your i's and cross your t's situation; that there is a slight possibility it could be something that grows, and is/becomes a problem, but that the probability is so low they are not even needing to look at it for half a year. No one actually came out and SAID these things though, but it's kind of what I gathered from how they were and what they said.
Still, I've also gathered that there is a possibility it COULD be something bad; they don't just shoot you with x-rays for the fun of it.
My grandmother had breast cancer twice, however, it was not premenopausal, and her five daughters, most in their 70's, have not gotten breast cancer, and none of their female children have gotten it either as far as I know.
It has also been close to two months since the initial mammogram; yes, they needed a closer look, but they probably have an idea of size from May to compare it to (maybe they don't, but the thought is comforting, and it doesn't hurt anything to think it) and they didn't say that it had grown or anything . . .
So, I am doing some CBT to try and calm down a bit, but this is something that is there, in the back of your mind . . .
I DID ask the doctor where the 5mm oval . . . white splotch/lymph node . . . that we can see on the mammogram was; they took some funky angled mammograms, so seeing the images wasn't necessarily showing me where it was because I didn't know the angle/frame of reference. Not more than a very rough idea. He told me where it was, but he also said I'd not be able to feel it. I responded by saying I figured breast self-exams weren't a bad idea anyway, and didn't say more, knowing it'll help MY peace of mind to know where a lump MIGHT possibly show up, if this . . . splotch/lymph node thing isn't a lymph node and isn't benign.
See, just KNOWING this information, makes me feel less helpless, and like there is something I can DO, aside from just waiting six months and going in for the next mammogram and/or ultrasound . . . perhaps these things are so unlikely to be bad that aside from practical experience and getting more familiar with how things feel WITHOUT lumps in them, it is not likely to help me find anything where the splotch is, but it sure helps me out psychologically . . . so I'll take it. Knowing more just . . . I don't know, it helps. I think sometimes too much info can be too much, but at this point, I'm glad I thought to ask things that make ME feel more in control, even if that control is an illusion . . .
Gee, I may be talking myself into a hole about this; I'm already poorly enough off in so many other ways, emotionally, right now. Well, at least I can feel good about having gone and dealt with this, which I really hadn't wanted to do . . .